How to Find that Unicorn: a Single Swinging Woman for a 3some?

It seems that there is a vast number of couples who are only looking for a female to play with them. For those who have the illusion that it might be easy, let me dispel it: it is not! There is a reason why they are called unicorns.

Why is it so hard to find them?


Statistically, there is probably one single swinger female for a hundred or more couples. There are several reasons why they are so rare: first of all, you have to be really brave to announce that you are a single swinging woman looking for a couple. Not every woman, even if she secretly wants it, will make this wish public. Secondly, a woman that wants to swing may find it easier to do it in a couple, so many of them partner with a male for swinging adventures which means that they are not single any more. Thirdly, some of them may still have their single female profile on, but they have already found the couples they have been looking for for the time being.

All this drastically reduces the chances for couples to find a single swinging female.

We have had such 3somes occasionally, when the opportunity presented itself, but we never actively looked for a single girl on purpose. From what we hear from our swinger friends, it can be a rather frustrating experience.

There is another side to the whole single swinger woman affair.  A lot of couple say they are only looking for a woman because the husband cannot get over his jealousy in picturing his wife with another man. This usually happens in newbie swinger couples. Once they get more experience, husbands realize that it is exciting to see their wife playing with another man and they finally agree to accept couples. And this is what most of the swingers do: couples in 4somes and moresomes. To us, playing with other couples is more fulfilling than meeting single women.

6 thoughts on “How to Find that Unicorn: a Single Swinging Woman for a 3some?

    • The point of this article is to caution unicorn-seekers that they should be patient. While it is more difficult to find a single swinging female that newbie swingers might think, it is still possible. You just have to keep in mind the context, the reality and the mindset of single women. Many couples get discouraged by the difficulties, and I was trying to explain why they should not be.

  1. My wife and I were involved in a polyamorous relationship (entirely online, and we never had the opportunity to meet, unfortunately, due to financial reasons) with a very sweet girl in 2012, which lasted about 7 months. She is monogamous. How did we “score” her? We just *asked* if she was interested, and she said yes.

    A few months after we broke up, I told another mono girl about our relationship structure. Her response was, “fucking hot.” She was also interested, but there was no attraction from our side.

    Uniorns *do* exist. But you have to hunt them. You have to be brave, have tact, be discreet, and most of all, be *sexy.*

    • Congratulations! If you are real (and not a man pretending to be a woman), you are a rare find. The best approach would be to set up a profile on a swingers web site and see what kind of responses you will get. My feeling is that you will get a lot of requests, so it will be relatively easy to pick our best matches. There are many swingers sites, but if you are looking for couples and women, I would recommend, as it is completely free (no money traps) and they are doing their best to keep the site free from fakes.

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