Inside a Swingers Club: What to Expect


I am often asked by couples, what’s it like in a swingers club? People seem to be intimidated by the idea of going to a lifestyle club because they think that it’s a place where they can be molested or forced to engage in something they don’t want. Many also fear that they will be recognized by someone they know from their public life or work. Well, before we had our first time at a club we had all those fears too. But then curiosity and lust won and we decided to try it. Since then we’ve been to many clubs in many cities around the world and have enjoyed our visits, for the most time.

We find that all clubs are similar in general. “Off-premises” clubs do not allow any sexual activity inside, whereas in “on-premises” ones you can have action right there, in the club. We have not come across too many off-premises places, and we prefer the on-premises version anyway, so I will tell you about these ones.

Some clubs allow single males (for a higher entrance fee). Typically Saturdays are reserved for couples and single women only. The doors usually open after 9:30pm or later. All clubs we know require you to pay an annual membership fee, and then each time you visit you have to pay an entrance fee.. The schedules, pricing and code of conduct you can always find on the club’s web site. I am telling you what’s not described on official web sites.

Each club usually has a bar. Most don’t have a license for selling alcohol, so they serve soft drinks and may be low-alcohol beverages. We bring our own alcohol in my purse and drink it discreetly. Next to the bar is a dance floor, often with a pole and a cage. There may be 30 to 60 couples on a Saturday night. The dress code varies. We’ve seen anything from sloppy shorts, sandals and t-shirts to expensive sexy dresses, suits, slut wear and lingerie. It is not uncommon to see some ladies wearing just a bra, stockings and shoes.

The evening usually starts with dancing, and closer to midnight couples start dispersing and exploring the back rooms. Most clubs have play areas beyond the dance floor that may include several private rooms (with locking doors) and a few common rooms. Some owners design their playrooms according to themes (Roman, Oriental, Western saloon or whatever other ideas they have).

When we went to our first club we thought that we would have to fend off pushy couples who would be grabbing me and trying to hump me on the spot. To our surprise, it never happened, neither on our first visit or any time after. We discovered that swingers in general are very polite and well-mannered people. The main rule is: a no is a no, no excuses needed.

Looking at the clientele, it is hard to imagine that even though they may be dressed in slutty outfits, they are just regular couples, like us, who are parents, employees or employers with busy lives full of responsibilities. This realization made us feel more intrigued. We were not alone. We are not crazy. There are tons of other couples who want to release their steam, turn into sluts for the night and have their secret adventures.

However, contrary to common belief and despite all the lewd ambiance, it is not that easy to find a couple to play with if you have not arranged a date in advance. People are surprisingly shy to make first contact, I guess may be because they are regular couples and not professional sluts. Often it seems like they go there just to show off their bodies and sexy outfits, and not to have sex with others. We are considered by many to be a very attractive couple, so I assume the looks are not the problem. On most evenings we do find nice couples who are ready to play right away, but sometimes we don’t. From our experience, the best way to have a swinger club outing is to make a date with one or two couples and arrange to meet at the club. We usually use the Events tool on FullofDesire that allows you to organize your Swinger Date and invite local couples to meet with you. The tool has RSVP and other features that make it convenient.

We also find it difficult to hook up with anyone at the bar or on the dance floor. The music in most clubs is too loud and fast for any kind of socializing. Some rare clubs figured it out and became more popular when they started playing mostly soft music and allowed patrons get intimate on the dance floor. In loud clubs it is much easier to get acquainted with someone in the back, in the play area. Once two or more couples hook up, chat and decide to get to know each other closer, they go to a private room or to a common room.

Then the action begins. Some go all the way, some limit themselves to just the foreplay. By the end of the night there are more people in the play area than on the dance floor, and all kinds or lascivious sounds can be heard from everywhere… I am telling you, it can get rather wild…

We have our favorite clubs and we find that clubs are much safer and more convenient places to meet other swingers compared to meeting in a public place or going to someone’s home or hotel.

Other types of swinger clubs are private house party clubs and swingers saunas. If you’d like to know what happens there, let me know and I will tell you.

The photo at the top is from this article. You can find more photos related to swingers clubs in that article and here.

4 thoughts on “Inside a Swingers Club: What to Expect

  1. I have always been a sexual person, from a slap on the ass to making out in public to all that happens in the bedroom (or outside)… tho always with my partner.
    My husband always claimed to be a passionate romantic lover and he was so in the beginning. As soon as we were married it stopped, his excuse: physical pain. I am a pain patient myself and it never stopped me showing and expressing physical attention to my spouse (or any ex). I tried talking to him, see if maybe he didn’t dare telling me it was something else, maybe our sex life got too boring to him, maybe something he lacked from me (appearance, his attraction towards me, the way I moved etc) or a fantasy he didn’t dare to share but no, he claimed the pain. No sex life, no physical contact at all ! No slap on ass, cuddling or making out, no oral no nothing! Till he got really drunk last weekend and he told me he wants to go to the swinger club he used to go to before we knew each other. He lied to me ! I asked him at day 1 (well, when we dated) to be fully open and honest and to also be like that about sexual preferences. I was honest ! He even was negatively shocked when I mentioned I used to have sex in public. Now he wants even that! For weeks he started to drop that he used to go to clubs, 1st for just the ambiance and music, later he had only one experience, days later it was multiple experiences. No men to will do men. From just for your (my) pleasure to I want to f*** this woman that goes there.
    Lies ! And he never had a reason. I don’t feel I should join him to the club, I can’t trust him and that is most important in this lifestyle. I also fear he only wants to go as a “free hall pass” to have sex with other people as he shows NO sexual interest in me at all. I believed him for a year that it was due to his physical pain and the fear but now that all of sudden he can swing and be sexual with strangers I do not trust him to enjoy this together.

    Am I correct in my idea and fear ? Shouldn’t he and I not only have full trust but already have a good sex life together ? Where we love making love with each other and be in love as well ?
    sorry for taking so much space and typing long email but I am scared, angry and feel betrayed. I would have joined him if he was honest from day one and if our sex life was satisfying (if we had a sex life I should say).

    • Your situation is common. Many years of marriage rarely result in the same level of passion as when you were dating. From what you described, your husband is definitely looking for spicier thrills than one-on-one marital sex. You can blame him for that, but men are polygamous creatures by nature (and so are many women). If I were in your shoes and if I wanted to keep the marriage, I would probably go with him and let him explore whatever he wants, and try to enjoy those activities myself. If it works, the spark may return to your sex life. If it doesn’t, then you may consider other options. But I would give the swinging lifestyle a try… you don’t have much to lose at this stage, and you might enjoy it too…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s