Why Facebook Groups for Swingers Are a Waste of Time for Us

We used to be on almost every facebook group for swingers. At first they all seem appealing as a potential source of new candidates to swing with. But very soon we realized that most of those groups are useless for swinger couples, whose main goals are to find other swingers close to them and to exchange info about events, clubs and resorts. Here are some of our experiences with such groups:

– They are usually infested by men pretending to be a woman or a couple.

– They are often not well moderated and therefore are full of spam.

– They are usually created by swinger web site owners or club owners or event organizers and are full of promotions for those companies.

– The functionality does not allow for genuine interaction with other swingers, unless you hook up with someone and then get off FB and communicate via email or IM, Skype, etc. We have only met 2 couples off FB, out of a few hundred profiles that we’ve been in touch with. Repeat: there is a disproportionate amount of fakes there.

– Most posts are not worth looking at and are waste of time (lots of spam too).

– Most discussions (threads) are pointless, a lot of them are LOLs, LMAOs, ‘awesome’ and “I wish we were there”… Many threads turn into bickering or off-color comments. A typical post to start a thread: “I am horny tonight! LOL…” and it all goes downhill from there.

– Many join these Groups to post and view porn photos, and as a result the Group is eventually shut down by FB police.

– In order to join such Groups, swingers typically create a separate, secret swinger profile on FB, that is separate from their regular vanilla profile. If you are not careful, mistakes may happen and your cover will be blown. Some of our friends have been compromised that way.

– Overall FB does NOT like swingers and often harasses them. But many ‘wannabe’ swingers on FB are to blame for that too, because they often behave in rude, vulgar and inconsiderate ways.

For all these reasons we stopped using FB swinger groups much, although we still belong to several. We check them once a month, may be, or less frequently.

Good specialized swinger sites are still the best way of hooking up with other swingers for us. We’ve had luck mostly with aff (paid) and fullofdesire.com (completely free for couples and women). Fullofdesire, for instance, has all the functionality of FB, minus the restrictions on nudity; plus the ability to search by location, which FB doesn’t have, and many more swinger-friendly features..

2 thoughts on “Why Facebook Groups for Swingers Are a Waste of Time for Us

  1. I would have to disagree with you about your article on that Facebook Groups are a waste of time. I understand that they may be a waste of time for you and you have made some valid points of why I think that the vast majority are a waste of time. I personally started a Facebook group based off the articles from my blog as the point of reference.

    * They are usually infested by men pretending to be a woman or a couple

    I made sure that I invited friends and friends of friends who I knew were in the lifestyle and that were real to start the group off. This limited the chances of being overrun with single men.

    *They are usually not well moderated and therefore are full of spam

    Since I started the group I was the only moderator. In the six months that it has been up I have added 6 moderators to assist with keep the conversation flowing and to make sure that we are not overrun with spam or offensive material.

    *They are usually created by swinger web site owners or club owners or event organizers and are full of promotions for those companies

    I do own a free swingers website with the same name of the blog and the group. I rarely post anything about it, but I do let everyone know in a pinned post that it is there. I do not use the group and an advertising vehicle for the site. I will not prevent others from promoting their sites or events in my group, but usually these post get little attention (via no comments) and are quickly pushed down the thread with more relevant group conversations.

    *The functionality does not allow for genuine interaction with other swingers, unless you hook up with someone and then get off FB and communicate via email or IM, Skype, etc. We have only met 2 couples off FB, out of a few hundred profiles that we’ve been in touch. Repeat: there is a disproportionate amount of fakes there.

    I do agree with you that FB does not have the functionality of a swingers site, but that is because…it is not a swingers site. It is a social platform. In that respect it is more of like a swingers online meet and greet.

    *Most posts are a waste of time to look at (lots of spam too)

    This goes back to the moderation of the group. There are a lot of groups out there as you have described, but in a well moderated group with useful topics and interaction you will have viable group of individuals who will regularly check in and participate.

    *Most discussions (threads) are pointless, a lot of them are LOLs, LMAOs, and “I wish we were there”… Many turn into bickering or off-color comments. A typical post to start a thread: “I am horny tonight! LOL…” and it all goes downhill from there.

    This is true and not true. Again it depends on the group moderators and what they are willing to allow. I decided that my group would not be like the group that you described from the start. This set us apart from the typical swingers group on FB and has been to our success.

    *Many join these Groups to post and view porn photos, and as a result the Group is eventually shut down by FB police

    A group can easily get shut down because of breaking FB policy about pics and videos (we all remember the old Yahoo! group days). I make it a point to be very open with the group…we like artistic (Playboy) here and there, but the moderators will let those who post explicit photos know that this will jeopardize the group as a whole and will remove the pictures when warranted.

    *In order to join such Groups, swingers create a separate, secret swinger profile on FB, that is separate from their regular vanilla profile. If you are not careful, mistakes may happen and your cover will be blown. Some of our friends have been compromised that way.

    This is no different than creating a profile on a swingers site. We never use our real names there, so while there is a chance that you would mistakenly log into the wrong account it you should take 10 seconds double check to make sure that you are in the correct account before letting everyone know about your plans to go to Hedonisim and cutting loose this summer.

    *FB does NOT like swingers and often harasses them. But many ‘wannabe’ swingers on FB are to blame for that too, because they often behave in rude, vulgar and inconsiderate ways.

    This is so true. 90% of the so called swingers on FB are not even close to being in the lifestyle. Again moderators who work with the group members can at least keep them out of the groups. We have had to do this a few times.

    All and all I do think that there is a place for FB for social interaction, but I personally think that a swingers site is for swingers. The problem with the sites are that there are so many and very few are niche sites. Very few are local sites which week to week you will more than likely be looking for someone locally vs nationally.

    To many of the sites are only into it to make a couple of dollars and have a very low membership. Using FB can help membership if this is not the sole purpose of the group.

  2. Hi Tyrone, very thorough comment, thank you! You are a rare example of how a FB Group owner can run it properly, with the interests of real swingers in mind. At the same time, to me it’s just the exception that proves the rule about the vast majority of FB groups “for swingers”. If every area had a group like yours, and a moderator like you, those groups would make sense. Unfortunately, that is not the case.

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