This article reflects many of my thoughts
about why marriages are so unstable and what makes them stronger. This therapist is bold to go against society’s taboos. He admits that couples who swing “may have some important mental health strengths.”
….One of the traits that determines happiness and mental health is flexibility: the capacity for creativity, abstract thinking, and adapting to changing circumstances. When it comes to the sex lives of swingers, there’s no question that they are more flexible in their approach to sex than their monogamous peers. But the real question is more complex: Is flexibility toward sex a good thing or a bad thing?
As a therapist who specializes in relationship issues, I can tell you that I have seen scores of men and women over the years who have varied sexual lifestyles and appetites. I’ve worked with couples who swing and couples who wouldn’t dare, and one distinguishing characteristic I have found is that couples who swing have less fear than monogamous couples. What’s more, they cheat less.
In terms of the fear, monogamous couples often fall into the toxic jealousy trap, afraid that a particular behavior or gesture might lead to a full-fledged affair and the end of the relationship. Monogamous couples also often fear that their best days are behind them, that they lost the opportunity for sexual excitement in favor of settling down and getting married. On the other hand, swinging couples are often deeply in love and emotionally connected, but they don’t value sex in the same way their monogamous peers do.
Read the full article here
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