Republished from: http://ca.askmen.com/dating/vanessa/47_love_secrets.html
If you haven’t already heard, swinging is the new and exciting recreational, alternative sexual lifestyle that consenting adults (mainly heterosexual couples) engage in. That’s right, swingers (usually couples) hook up with other couples and swap partners at private parties and in their homes.Now keep in mind that while single women are generally welcome to these parties with open arms, single guys would have a more difficult time finding a swingers party in which he can get into without a mate.
There are increasingly more swing clubs in which couples can attend and interact with other swingers, and of course, couples can also hook up at these parties and then go back to a more private environment to engage in the sexual romp.
before you get excited
I’m sure this sounds very interesting and intriguing to a lot of guys already, but keep in mind that swinging should not be used as a means of replacing a failing sexual relationship. The person you decide to swing with should play a significant role in your life and this practice should be used as a means of enhancing your already wonderful sex life together.Above and beyond all else, if you want to enjoy the swinger’s life, you have to have very good communication with your partner. You have to be comfortable with one another and be able to discuss any and everything.
If you are both sensitive to each other’s needs and can put each other’s needs before your own, then this can be a wonderful experience for the two of you.
some definitions you need
There are a bunch of different styles of swinging that you will end up seeing in the community:
Closed swinging — one partner prefers not to watch their partner have sex with someone else.
Open swinging — one partner insists on watching their partner have sex with another person.
Soft swinging — swapping partners for heavy foreplay but returning to their original mate for actual sex.
As you become more intimate with the environment, you will start understanding more of the lingo commonly associated with swingers.
What do you see upon entering?
When you first walk into a swinging environment, it’s normal to get overly excited. But keep in mind that you shouldn’t behave in a very eager mode. It’s a social practice, after all, and therefore you should engage in conversations and do some light flirting instead of humping the first couple you encounter.But before you even begin socializing, stand back and observe the way people in the environment are behaving. Check out the way people are socializing with one another and once you feel comfortable, then you can begin blending into the crowd.
Just like in any environment, being responsible, friendly (flirty) and open-minded are very important if you want this experience with your partner to be a positive one. And in case you’re wondering, you don’t necessarily have to have sex with other people in order to have a good time. The great thing is that hearing and seeing other people engage in sex can provide quite the enhancement for you and your partner if and when you have sex with each other.
some things about swinging
First and foremost, if your relationship is not steady and the two of you are constantly bickering, then swinging is not the answer. As well, if either of you has a hidden agenda in which you plan to permanently “replace” your partner, you’re going to be in for a nasty surprise. That’s not the way things work at swinging events.If you and your partner are too embarrassed to talk about sex with each other, then again, there’s no way that your relationship will flourish as swingers.
Although no one would attack you for wanting to use protection (condoms), for the most part, it’s not a must in this environment (although it should be). And if you want to use a latex barrier before performing cunnilingus, get ready to do some explaining to the players.
Always keep in mind that it’s okay to say no; you’re not obligated to have sex with anyone who smiles at you crooked. And also, I know you probably have this image of hundreds of beautiful playmates eating each other and such, but most swinging clubs don’t discriminate against age, sex, race, or body shape. So saying no might occur more often than you think.
Oh yeah, when you approach a woman and she says, “No, thank you,” accept it with a smile and move on. Don’t start asking questions like, “Why, what’s wrong with me?”
What to do about jealousy…
are you the jealous type?
It is quite common for jealousy to arise due to insecurity. Although this is normal as one partner may be watching the other make love to someone else, constant squabbling and fighting over the experience might demonstrate that perhaps the two of you are not ready for such an environment.If you fear that your woman will end up getting more attention than you, that if you touch another woman your own lady will trip out on you, or that she might fall in love with another man, then perhaps you shouldn’t delve into such a scenario just yet.
The initial stage of jealousy can be thwarted simply through agreements made beforehand, adequate communication, and constant reassurance of your love for each other. Deal with any and all feelings you may have regarding any situation right away. That’s the only way to ensure that there won’t be any misunderstandings.
In this day and age, you’d be crazy not to protect yourself. Sure, people will swear up and down that they’re clean and healthy. But think about it: you’re in a swinging environment in which people swap partners and make love with virtual strangers.Although using condoms and spermicidal lubricant may still be a novel idea in the swingers’ realm, protecting yourself is very important and I recommend you do so in all environments. Besides disease, you also deter pregnancy and will feel more confident in your adventures.
who, what, where, when, why
There are a lot of different ways to find out about swingers and swinging. You can check out your local paper for other couples that are in search of duos to hook up and swing with.As well, cyberspace can provide just the environment necessary to find a couple or two to hang and experiment with. Perhaps you can discuss the idea over the Net and as your comfort with the situation increases, you can then make the move to meet up with the couple.
Or you can inquire about clubs in which swingers get together and enjoy uninhibited sexual romps. You can go there with your partner and enjoy, or you can simply find a certain couple that you like (and that likes you) and head off somewhere more private for a more intimate encounter.
But as with everything else, be careful. Don’t let the blood-flow to your penis deter you from thinking straight. Always insure your woman’s and your safety before anything.
the good, the bad
A lot of couples believe that having sex with other people sounds quite tantalizing and arousing, and as well, many couples find that swinging ultimately improves their sex lives and relationship.But if your relationship is not a sturdy one, then jealousy, insecurity, anger, betrayal, and all the other irrational emotions may take over your (or her) sense of self and end up destroying what was left of your relationship.
Remember that swinging is there to enhance your relationship, not replace or do away with it.
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